clinic visit 1/14

I took my mom with me to the clinic this last time. I knew that Carter would need to be sedated for a couple procedures and I wanted to have someone with me to hold the baby and just for moral support. Did I mention that my mom is amazing and has been here trying to keep us sane for a few weeks now? And will continue that mission for another couple weeks? Thank goodness for moms! Anyhow, Carter's blood counts are all up since last time because of the blood transfusion. White blood cell count is 2300 with ANC of 100, hemoglobin is 8.9 and platelets are 50,000. Lookin good. After the CBC (complete blood count) we waited with a super grumpy boy for the sedation team to be ready. He couldn't eat all morning and was very hungry and mean. They finally came to take us to the procedure room and one of the nursed tried to steal my baby. Not really, but she did hold her for a minute. I couldn't get to the hospital in time for the last sedation a few weeks ago so this was my first time. I was really nervous about it, I thought it would really freak me out. They told me I could hold him until he fell asleep so I got up on the bed with him on my lap while he cried, "I don't want to take a nap!" over and over again. As they were about to put the sleep-making stuff (I don't know what it's called) into his IV, the doctor decided it was a good idea to tell me that this medicine is the same stuff Michael Jackson took when he died. Perrrrrfect, just what I want to hear at this moment. He's not my favorite doctor. Luckily, I don't think we'll be scheduled with him again anytime soon. Anyways, it surprisingly didn't freak me out at all to hear that but the nurse did apologized for him later. So they injected the stuff and not 5 seconds later, Carter was out like a light. They helped me lay him down and then my mom and I went to wait in the play room. It took a little longer than normal because it's a teaching hospital and there was a resident in with them learning about the procedures. They did another LP (lumbar puncture) and a bone marrow aspirate. Once we were allowed back in the room, I had all of Carter's favorite snacks ready and had ordered his favorite lunch, chicken and french fries. It took a little while before he woke up but they were able to give all of his chemo through his IV while he was still sleeping. So once he was awake and ready, we could leave. BUT (there's always a but) the doctor wanted us to go down a get an x-ray of his knee since it has been bothering him so much. Carter was really nervous about it but it went really quickly and the x-rays were all totally normal. We just have to wait out the joint pain. Yesterday and today it's been a lot better though. He still limps a lot but is in a much better mood and doesn't tell me every 2 seconds that it hurts. In fact, I think I only heard it once all day today! Things are lookin up! I've noticed just how much my mood is tied to his. If he's happy, I'm happy. But if he's in pain, or sad, or just tired, I'm a total mess. I'm sure you can relate - as a parent, I think this is always the case. It just seems to be intensified by a billion.

This is weird. It's weird that our lives have changed so dramatically and so quickly and that everyone else's hasn't. Normal, everyday things are still happening all around us. It just seems so odd that the world kept on going when our world seemed to stop. And then start again and go really really really fast. Family takes on a whole new meaning. And I'm so grateful for mine. SO so grateful for my husband and two sweet boys and adorable little girl. Even if life is crazy chaos right now, we're going through it together and we have each other. And a few truckloads of friends and family who are just begging to help us :)